Moneyball（点球成金）剧本图文详细解读

Moneyball剧本解读

《点球成金》（《Moneyball》）

一个棒球队的故事

类型：传记，真实故事改编。

Billy是一位棒球队经理，他的队联赛表现不佳，于是他和耶鲁经济学毕业生Pete联手，通过科学计算比赛策略的数据棒球来经营球队，由此改革了美国棒球的传统规则。

这篇是剧情的报告，电影的评论另外写过一篇，戳这里：

名为“简单粗暴，执行到底”的优雅

Moneyball的电影看了五遍左右，剧本读了一遍。剧本里不少部分和最终的电影不同，某些删节的部分在DVD花絮里有看到，看来是拍了然后最后被剪辑掉了。全部戏份被剪掉的Billy的女友，我向你表示深深的献蜡烛……本文以讨论最终电影的剧情为准，但复制黏贴的毕竟是剧本原文，难免与电影里台词有小出入。此外，还会推测一些删节的理由，到时就会剧本与最终电影相比较。

（图片都是豆瓣挂来的，谢谢豆瓣的同志们——不是说你们同性恋）

首先通过整理Money剧情流程来俯瞰一下本作的结构：

billy提出不能再走老路，老头子们都不理解（－） -> 闪回：billy在高中被极为看好，选进职业队 -> billy试着去买某球员，失败了，遇到peter，听了买win而不是买player的球队经营理念 （－＋）-> 回顾年轻时billy在球队和斯坦福中二选一-> billy招聘了peter （＋）->和Art( manager)吵架 （－）-> billy告诉震惊的老头子们他要用三个有缺陷的球员代替giambi （－＋）-> 跑去SCOTT HATTEBERG家招聘 （＋）-> billy去前妻家接女儿 -> 回顾过往的逐步失败 -> 在录像室和peter看球员 （＋）-> billy被grady喊出去，两人的对话透露出billy想要改革游戏的野心 （－）-> 训练三位新人，看着并不乐观 （－）-> hatteberg作为first baser的能力不被信任 （－）-> 比赛opening day，art没让hatterberg作为first出场；bradford没能在end （－） -> billy让peter跟着队伍出征，和他练习炒队员鱿鱼 （－）-> 开头11场A队输了7场 （－）->接女儿来家里 -> peter说需要等更多场数，收集更多sample （－）-> oakland A从13位跌至16（－）-> schott问billy怎么回事，billy说有信心 （＋）-> billy要求用hatt而不是pena，art不听 （－）-> billy让太太趁年轻和他离婚 -> Billy炒掉了pena等人，让art只能用hatt （＋）-> Oakland A 一路连胜，达到连赢19场的历史记录（＋）-> 开车时女儿电话来让看比赛。A’s 11 and Kansas City nothing. billy掉头去球场 （＋）-> billy一到沸腾的球场，对方球队便迅速得分，billy离开了 （－）-> 比分被追到11：10 （－）->  Oakland A最后靠本垒打12：11 赢得比赛 （＋）-> oakland最终还是输了联赛，舆论指责数据棒球 （－）-> 回想billy意识到自己不是个棒球员，要求转职成scout -> 红袜子队高薪聘请Billy （＋）。Billy因为不想离女儿住得太远放弃该工作。

黑色是棒球革命；灰色是过往回顾；红色是同女儿的互动。棒见棒球革命的过程是Moneyball的绝对重心—— 策略，策略执行过程中遇到的阻拦，以及革命者的人物魅力。灰色回忆是Billy之所以要革命的动机，红色女儿是Billy结局放弃天价职位的动机，两样都是为了棒球革命服务的。

（＋）（－）代表该节是上升剧情还是下降剧情，也就是事情是往好地方发展还是往坏地方发展，可以看出Moneyball的整体结构完全属于传统好莱坞的节奏。一开始先铺展主人公的危机，主人公一路挣扎，大多是（－），偶尔（＋）一下。全剧的高潮在OaklandA赢下二十连胜的极度戏剧化的一场比赛。接近高潮的前一段，一路（＋）能量飙升，OacklandA一路赢了19连胜，第20场打出11比0的悬殊领先，做出高潮的气势（高潮这个词真是用不惯……跟处女作的说法一样烦人……），即将胜利的前夕放大招来个深度挫折（－），比分被追平到11比10，最后再力挽狂澜，以12比11重新赢回胜利。本剧毕竟是根据事实改编的，世界上真实存在如此戏剧化的一场比赛，拿它来做高潮的编剧那就是咱的偶像。

接下来分主题来逐个研究一下。

{Billy的个性塑造}

本片的重点是革命。Billy作为一个能带领革命的人，他需要过人的执行力和判断力，而电影也是以突出他的这种特征为目的编排的。比如下面的这段，他半夜打电话给Peter，问对方会否选当初的自己入职业棒球，以此决定Peter是否有判断力。电话过程中Peter不想说伤人的话，但Billy懒得听客套话，逼问对方说实话。简短而不寻常的面试表现了Billy那no-bullshit的态度。

PETER

Hello?

BILLY

It’s Billy Beane.

PETER

What time is it?

BILLY

I don’t care. Would I be in the first round?

PETER

What?

BILLY

After I left you ran me through your computer, right? Would you have drafted me in the first round?

PETER

You were a good baseball player.

BILLY

Would you have drafted me in the first round?

PETER (pause)

I’d have drafted you in the ninth round. No signing bonus. You’d have passed and gone to Stanford.

BILLY

Pack your suitcases.

PETER

Why?

BILLY

I just bought you from the Cleveland Indians.

BILLY

hangs up the phone. He sits all alone for a moment.

本作中的Billy有个有趣的设定，即是他不在现场看自己球队的比赛，并且看/听直播也是听一句后便关掉电视/录音机，过一会再开，再关，看的时候还要干别的事情（健身、开车）分神。这个行为习惯的设定，表现出Billy想听直播又不敢听的心情，是他对棒球既爱又恨的结果，也说明他深信自己是棒球的衰神。他这种努力又自卑的状况，成为他想要改革棒球界的动机。

此外，全片的一个戏眼也是凸显了Billy的个性。Peter借着一个别的球员打出了本垒打自己却不知情的例子，比喻Billy认为自己是个loser，其实却已经成就了了不起的事情。Billy看完Peter给他看的这段路线，说， How can anybody not be romantic about baseball?

剧本里的Billy更浮华些，电影里的他依然暴力感实足，但他的固执是为理念服务的，而不是纯粹作为“具有爷们味的角色设定”。就如同他的棒球比赛求的不是华美，是胜利。剧本里一段话显得冠冕堂皇，没被放进电影：

PETER

I’m miming “You don’t watch the games?!”

BILLY

This is my team. And they’ve taken the field. They’re world class athletes who are fighting for their lives and I stand with them. Except not literally so I need you to text me what Art does.

不过，到了比赛相关的事情，布拉德彼特也是可以演得比剧本里更狠的。这段在电影里砸了椅子，剧本里只是不高兴地关掉音乐而已：

Billy lets himself out and walks down the hall to the locker room - regards Jeremy Giambi -

JEREMY

Yeah!

He’s not even aware of Billy. It’s just like any other night as far as Jeremy Giambi is concerned. He dances to a CD of funk music as he dresses, until he becomes aware of Billy standing there, and smiling, he kills the music.

{Peter的个性塑造}

Peter是个弱弱的理科宅形象，属于明明具有实力却比较弱势的群体，和Billy是一个阵营的。主人公要够弱够被打压，最后的胜利才有意义。

刚被Billy聘用的第一天，Billy让他分析十位球员结果他分析了51位，还因此觉得不好意思。Billy问他做了几位球员的分析时，他如此回答：

PETER

47. Okay--51, I don’t know why I lied just then.

另外一个例子，Peter向老板转述Billy没礼貌的请求时自行加了please，还立马招供是自己加的（特好笑特萌）：

PETER

Billy says he needs two hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars for Ricardo Rincon. Please? (then) Yes, I added the please.

不符合Peter软软的个性的动作，就算写进剧本，最后也会被删掉，比如这里的摔椅子，怎么看都是Billy会干的事而不是Peter干的：

INT. VIDEO ROOM - NIGHT

Peter SMASHING a wooden chair to pieces with a baseball bat.

在BBC版神探夏洛克和美国电影版大侦探腐尔摩斯里，都有腐尔摩斯为了推理而把一整面墙布置成他的脑内的场景。剪报、照片、证据等被钉在墙上，相关的线索用细线互相连接，这样的复杂而充满气势的布景给观众留下主角酷炫的印象，此外诸如美丽心灵啦社交网络啦等等只要涉及“主角很聪明”的设定都有类似场景，而Moneyball的剧本里也有类似的场景：

PETER’s completely converted the place. The dry erase boards are covered with undecipherable equations, algorithms and numbers and PETER, who’s pretty tired now after not a lot of sleep, is in the middle of this.

但是，最后电影用一打普通的报告纸代替了大片式装逼。导演选择用没有噱头的精干拍法来体现没有噱头只有精干策略的革命，而Peter的形象也由此去掉了浮华的部分，变成了精通自己研究的土气宅男（土气在此不是贬义词）。

当然了，这种极简奢华的拍法，直接造成观众比较少。不过，观众算个啥？

{电影基调}

电影的拍摄方针和Billy的基调类似：简洁干练，没有噱头，没有芸芸众生惯用的啰嗦。

比如下面这段，剧本比电影里做作。Billy聘用了Hatt后Hatt太太激动得哭了，有点感动中国式的虚伪煽情味儿。而且最后Billy还来了句Merry Christmas！你还是Billy吗？而电影里，Hatt太太待Billy他们走后才和丈夫相拥，渲染得收敛，反而更能感动人，因为不会显假而令评论家们唾弃——之所以说评论家而不是说观众，是因为不知为何这世上很多人竟还是对虚伪的煽情买账的，把诸如“看了会哭哦”作为片子拍得好的标准。可是切洋葱的时候人也会哭啊眼泪不值钱的吧…………

扯远了，放出上面所说的略煽的剧本原文：

BILLY

This is a contract for you to play baseball with the Oakland A’s. A copy’s on its way to your agent. Discuss it with your wife and let us know.

(They get up and Billy calls off)

Thanks for the cookies, ma’am.

We see ELIZABETH with tears running down her face...then go back to the living room--

ELIZABETH (O.S.) You’re welcome.

BILLY (on his way out)

Merry Christmas.

{行业技巧}

Moneyball里行业职人间较量的技巧，相当于一个动作片里的打架的场面，是酷炫的看点。比如电影刚开始不久Billy被坑的一段。billy对boras（jonny Damon的经纪人）说有750万了，要留住jonny，下次电话时对方却说波士顿多出25万，原来经纪人是利用billy的竞争抬高客户jonny的价格。

除了挨打，更重要的自然是主人公痛打别人的场面。比如本剧的戏眼之一，购买球员的电话战术（很长，实在不喜欢读英文的小伙伴可以直接往下看对本段的分析——但是这段真的很好看啊你确定不看吗）：

LEGEND: July 31 - TRADE DEADLINE INT. SCOUTS ROOM - MOMENTS LATER - DAY

Billy comes in sticking some tobacco under his lip and, like a shark that knows it could die if it stops moving, doesn’t through the entire scene --

BILLY

Suzanne, get Shapiro on the phone.

PETER

Are you thinking Rincon?

BILLY

Yeah, he’s lost faith for the season. I think he’s gonna dump him.

PETER

Hardcore.

They wait as Suzanne dials the Indians’ GM, staring at the speakerphone that sits like a little island in the middle of the conference table.

SUZANNE

Shapiro on two.

BILLY

Mark. Billy. Let’s be honest. A premiere setup man is not going to get you any closer to the playoffs.

SHAPIRO V/O

Are you referring to Rincon?

BILLY

He’s a luxury you can’t afford.

SHAPIRO V/O

And you can? There’s half a million on his contract and at least one other suitor.

BILLY

By at least one, you mean one? Who is it?

SHAPIRO V/O

I’d rather not say.

PETER (whispers)

San Francisco.

BILLY

I’ll call you back.

He hangs up. Stares down Peter.

PETER

What do you think we can get for Magnante?

BILLY

Nothing.

(continues to stare down Peter)

What’s left on Venafro’s contract?

PETER

Two-seventy-five.

BILLY

Suzanne -- get me Sabean.

(then)

If we can get San Francisco interested in Venafro, Shapiro’s only got one buyer for Rincon.

PETER

Us.

Pete gets busy on his computer.

SUZANNE

On three.

BILLY

Sabes. Billy. You like Venafro. I can let you have him for almost nothing.

SABEAN V/O (smelling a rat)

Why would you do that, Billy?

BILLY

Because I’m amazing.

SABEAN V/O

Uh-huh.

BILLY

All I want is a couple of bucks and a sweetener. Throw in, say...

Billy snaps his fingers at Peter –

PETER

Anderson. Anderson.

SABEAN V/O

I like Anderson.

BILLY

No, you don’t. I don’t even like him. I don’t know why I’m doing this -- but let’s do it anyway. Venafro for Michaelson?

PETER

Anderson.

BILLY

Anderson. See, I don’t even know his name.

SABEAN V/O

I’ll think (about) --

BILLY

Think about it and call me back.

He hangs up.

BILLY

Get Shapiro back on.

Billy and Pete stare at each other in silence.

SUZANNE

Two!

BILLY

Mark –

SHAPIRO V/O

You can’t afford him, Billy.

BILLY

You sure about that? I get the impression the market for Rincon is softening. I could be wrong. Call whoever’s interested and make sure they’re still interested. And call me back.

He hangs up.

BILLY

What about the Mets for Venafro? （Mets＝纽约）

PETER

You just offered him to the Giants.

BILLY

Suzanne -- Steve Phillips! Get me Steve Phillips.

Pete works his computer.

BILLY

Between Bonds, Nen, they’re never gonna (get Venafro.)

PETER

Totally agree.

BILLY

We just need them to cool on Rincon.

SUZANNE

Phillips on two.

BILLY

Steve-O. Billy. I hear you’re looking for a left-handed reliever. What do you think of Venafro? I can make it quick and easy for you.

PHILLIPS V/O

What’s the angle?

BILLY

No angle.

PHILLIPS V/O

Who am I getting fleeced for?

BILLY

Hang on a second.

He puts him on hold. Peter is already scrolling through the Mets’ farm system, his eyes darting around the stats.

PETER

Bennett maybe?

BILLY

How old?

PETER

Twenty-six.

BILLY

Twenty-six and in Double-A? Forget it.

PETER

Duncan? No. Cerda? No. Furbush?

Eckerton? Eckerton. Eckerton, that’s the guy.

Billy punches the phone off hold.

BILLY

Eckerton.

PHILLIPS V/O

Eckerton? I like Eckerton.

BILLY

You don’t even know who Eckerton is.

The phone on Pete’s desk rings. Peter answers a second blinking line.

PETER

Hello?

PHILLIPS V/O

Is Venafro hurt?

PETER

Oh, hi.

BILLY

No, he’s not hurt. He’s fine. This is just a situation for us.

PETER

It’s Steve.

PHILLIPS V/O

Last couple of times out, he got hammered.

BILLY (mute)

I’m on with Steve. (unmute)

Not his fault. We misused him.

PETER

Steve Schott.

BILLY

Tell him to hold.

(to Steve Phillips)

Look. Steve. Here’s the deal. I’m being straight with you. I’m getting Rincon. It’s a done deal. It’s done.

PHILLIPS V/O

I heard the Giants --

BILLY

No, the Giants want Venafro. And I told them they can have him for Michaelson...

PETER

Anderson --

BILLY

-- but I’d rather deal with you. Because you can give me Eckerton and two hundred and twenty-five thousand cash and the Giants can’t.

Billy’s look to Peter says, Doesn’t hurt to ask. As they listen to silence on Phillips’ side of the call --

PETER

Yes, I understand it’s impolite to keep you holding.

PHILLIPS V/O

I’ll think about it.

BILLY

Of course. Think. But whoever calls me back first gets Venafro.

He hangs up. Looks for the blinking light that belongs to his owner.

PETER

He hung up. Silence.

BILLY

Why isn’t anybody calling?

The phone rings.

SUZANNE

Shapiro’s on two.

Billy picks up. Listens. Fist pump.

BILLY

Great. Lemme talk to my owner. Call you right back. (then)

Get Steve.

PETER

Phillips or Schott?

BILLY

Why would I call Phillips back? Schott. Tell him I’m on the other line.

PETER

Right.

Peter dials. Billy can’t sit.

PETER

Mr. Schott, it’s Peter Brand. Sorry I left you on hold. Billy asked me to call you back. He’s on another line.

BILLY

Tell him we need two hundred and twenty-five grand for Rincon.

PETER

Billy says he needs two hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars for Ricardo Rincon. Please?

(then)

Yes, I added the please.

(listens; to Billy) No.

Billy thinks intensely. Finally --

BILLY

Tell him I’ll pay it, but when I sell him next year for twice that, I keep the money.

PETER

Billy says he’ll pay for Rincon himself, sell him next year, and keep the profit.

Peter listens to whatever Steve Schott is saying, then --

High five.

PETER

Okay. Thank you. (hangs up) He says he’ll pay for Rincon.

BILLY

Great! Shit. What are we forgetting?

(calling out) Get me Shapiro!

-- as he grabs his cell phone and hits speed dial.

BILLY

Wait, never mind!

(beat, then into phone)

Mark. Yeah, it’s Billy. Here’s the deal. I don’t want Rincon pitching against me tonight. Tell him to change his clothes. I got you the money and I accept your gratitude. It’s done.

He hangs up. Fist bump.

BILLY

We gotta let someone go. It’s Mags. It’s gotta be Mags.

PETER

I call not it.

Billy dials an extension.

BILLY

Art. Billy. The good news is Ricardo Rincon’s heading over to the clubhouse. The bad news is you got to tell Mags he threw his last pitch for the Oakland A’s last night.

ART V/O

No.

BILLY What do you mean, no.

ART V/O

No, as in no. I’m not doing it. You do it. You did it, so you do it.

Art hangs up. Billy slams the speakerphone.

PETER

It’s not the phone’s fault. Suzanne, we’re gonna need a new speakerphone.

BILLY

We gotta catch Mags before Rincon comes over.

He leaves.

以上一段的梗概是：

Billy想向Shapiro买Rincon，因为Rincon本季表现不佳，原队会比较愿意抛售他。Rincon标价50万，并且旧金山也想要买他，Billy需要比旧金山给Shapiro更多东西，才能得到Rincon。Billy队里的Venafro标价22万5千，Billy设法让旧金山买下Venafro，那样旧金山就不会和他们抢Rincon了，而且卖Venafro的钱可以作为一部分买Rincon的资金。他打电话告诉旧金山他可以大优惠卖出Venafro，挂掉后打给Shapiro，说你那另一位买家可能变心了，你去确认看看。接着Billy打电话给纽约队，明知对方不会要买Venafro，但他只是想让大家从Rincon身上转移注意，减少购买竞争。挂断后，Shapiro打来电话，说Rincon能卖给他。Billy打电话给老板，讨二十二万五千来买Rincon。老板不肯，Billy便说他自己来买，但将来两倍价卖掉Rincon时利润就是他的了。老板上钩，答应出资。

到此最精彩的部分就结束了，但是为了让Billy显得忙碌有气势，接下来也继续拍了Billy电话通知Shapiro成交、请Mags走人（因为多了Rincon了）的段落。但是擅长把对话写得比打架还好看的艾伦索金大人并不就此罢休，还要虚张声势地让电话场面看上去更激烈一些，于是他利用了纽约队的经理和Billy的老板名字都叫Steve这一点。在Billy和纽约的Steve打电话时，老板Steve刚好打电话进来，让Billy和Pete在说这个Steve那个Steve时一片混乱。从战术上来说，给纽约的Steve的那通电话其实不是必要的，但写进去就会热闹酷炫，让观众看得敬意油然而生。

{主题表达}

《Moneyball》的主题是在迂腐的环境中用正确而新的方法形式所需要的执行力与行动力，而这两种力需要靠遭遇的阻力来衬托。电影一开篇便阐明Billy面临的问题，然后让观众逐步看到在迂腐的棒球界引入一个革新的经营理念的难度，最后让大家看到Billy克服困难坚持理念的过程。

电影开头，一房间的老头子选美还不知挑肉牛似的挑新队员，billy面对的挑战便是对牛弹琴一般地向他们解释，问题的核心是美国职业棒球是不公平的胜负：

GRADY

Alright, guys... we had a great year. We won 102 games and we only came a buck short in New York. Now the bad news... we’ve got three big holes to fill. (then) Let’s start with who we like for Giambi. We’ll go around the room. Who you like, Matty?

KEOUGH

I like Geronimo. (approval from the other scouts) Guy’s an athlete. This guy is big, fast and talented.

GEORGE

Six foot four.

PITTARO

Top of my list.

POTE

Clean cut, good face.

ARTIE

Good jaw. He’s the real deal.

GEORGE

Five tools, good lookin’.

BILLY

Can he hit?

KEOUGH

He’s a tools guy.

BILLY

Can he hit?

GEORGE

He’s got a great swing. Natural swing.

BILLY

Guys, stop. You’re talking like this is business as usual. It’s not.

GRADY

We’re trying to solve the problem.

BILLY

Not like this. You’re not even looking at the problem.

GRADY

We not only have a very clear understanding of the problem we now face, but everyone in this room has faced similar problems countless times before.

BILLY

Good. What’s the problem?

GRADY

The problem is that we’ve lost 3 key players that we now have to replace.

BILLY

Uh-uh. What’s the problem?

PITTARO

The problem is the same as it always is; we’ve got to put a team together with what we’ve got.

BILLY

Uh-uh. What’s the problem?

BARRY

We’ve got 38 home runs to replace, 120

rbi’s, 47 doubles...

BILLY

Okay, stop. The problem we’re trying to solve is that this is an unfair game. There are rich teams, poor teams, 50 feet of crap and then there’s us. And now we’ve been gutted. We’re organ donors to the rich. The Red Sox took our kidneys and the Yankees took our heart. And now I’m listening to the same old shit about having a good body and being a tools guy like you’re looking for Fabio. Is there another first baseman like Giambi?

(beat)

Is there?

我们观众得知billy想要改革游戏的动机，是在billy被grady喊出去，两人对话的时候。有一个个人原因的动机，就会使Billy不顾背负骂名也要改革棒球的行为显得合情合理。他因为Scouts对棒球的错误理解，被拉进职业棒球，断送了上斯坦福大学的前程，他不希望这样的事情再发生在别人身上：

BILLY (CONT'D)

Yes, and I’ve thought so my whole life. And now we’re gonna see if I’m--

GRADY

--we’re gonna see if you’re right?! This is about you and your shit? Some scouts from 20 years ago called it wrong, okay? They thought you were a ballplayer and you weren’t. As you know, it happens. Don’t take it out on--

剧本里的不少段落最终都没有出现在电影里，主要是把Billy和前妻及现女友Tara去掉了。删节后Billy的人物形象变得更简洁，少了和女人的瓜葛，大概是突出“孤独一匹狼”的形象吧。 此外，也删掉了谈判无关的唧唧歪歪、风风火火、看似很忙的高调虚假忙人一套。

脚本里本来有一段，在连胜20场后hatt的太太对Billy说一度认为自己老公是loser，而老公也知道。Billy本想对她说“你老公不会这么想的”，但转而还是说“对，他确实会知道”，影射出他当时也被妻子视作loser，并且他心知肚明。最终被删节，可能导演认为本片的重点在“棒球的改革”以及“能改革棒球的人的品质，也可能凸显他因为当年选择棒球而失去的东西，只要说明他失去了斯坦福就可以了，再说明他因此失去前妻略显重复。

{一场戏的充分利用}

接下来说说更技术性的方面。

电影拍一场戏不像小说写一章，是代价昂贵的，因此一场戏不能只有一个用途，必须有多重用途，才有资格被拍出来。比如剧本里Billy和小女儿相处的戏，表达的是英雄温柔的一面，也为最终他放弃天文数字工资做铺垫，但只有这层作用不够，于是排成电影时，亲子对话被改成棒球相关的话题，一石二鸟。

一个普遍通用、并不是本片才适合的删节原则：如果一段戏的作用仅仅是透露观众理解故事需要的信息，而戏本身没有冲突，便必须删去。比如脚本第三到十二页最终没进入片子里，是因为它仅仅是在交待Billy遇到的困难（资金不足，被挖角等），却没有展示Billy如何应对困难。

三到二十一页需要透露的信息是Oakland A队输了，他们的预算是牛队的三分之一，媒体对Billy不客气，Billy对自己更不客气。billy和Tara（女友）准备去夏威夷，即将登机。Billy反复强调他不想丢失几位金牌球员，顾着工作电话，最后没和女友登机。他到豪庙去跟Aron说不想放走金牌球员，得知纽约出了比他们全队工资多的钱挖giambi。

该段包涵的关于Billy面临的挑战的信息，在后面的戏里都能体现，因此可以删除。当然啦，也有可能这些只是我的YY，其实是因为预算才砍掉的……

此外，这段里一个医疗的例子我很喜欢，但是整段解释味太重，把观众当白痴，被删减了，放出来大家一起享受享受：

BILLY

Let’s make sure we’re on the same page.

PETER

Okay.

BILLY

We’re going to re-think baseball.

PETER

Yes.

BILLY

Look for an inefficiencies in statistics.

PETER

Examine the ways that runs are scored and prevented.

BILLY

Exploit the fact that unspectacular runs are just as valuable as 450-foot bombs.

PETER

Unspectacular runs are more valuable.

BILLY

Why?

PETER

Because they cost less.

BILLY

We believe there’s a river that hasn’t been fished.

PETER

We know it for sure.

BILLY

And because players have been overlooked because they don’t rise to the standards of traditional baseball thinking, we believe that in this river, there are fish...fish who-- (BILLY lost it) Help me with--

PETER

Forget the fish. In this room is every available player at every level of professional baseball, and somewhere in that group are 25 players that everyone has else has thrown out.

PETER/BILLY (simultaneously)

A team.

PETER (CONT'D)

An island of misfit toys. In this room is a championship team that we can afford.

BILLY

Yes. But let me ask you this. If our theory is right--

PETER

Math isn’t a theory.

BILLY

If it’s right--

PETER

It’s right.

BILLY

It sounds right.

PETER

It is right.

BILLY

If math isn’t a theory—

PETER

It isn’t.

BILLY

I’m gonna punch you if you don’t let me finish.

PETER

Sorry.

PETER

in the kidneys if you do.

BILLY

If this is right, why isn’t everybody doing it? In fact, why isn’t anybody doing it?

PETER

Somebody once said, “It’s not what you don’t know that worries me it’s what you know for sure that’s got me scared.” In the mid-19th Century in Budapest there was an incredibly high instance of mothers dying shortly after childbirth from a disease called puerperal fever. 35%.

BILLY

Make this story less boring as soon as you can.

PETER

A doctor named Semmelweiss showed that if the attending physicians and nurses sterilized their hands before delivery, the mortality rate dropped to 1%.

BILLY

And he was vilified?

PETER

He was institutionalized. For suggesting that washing your hands before putting them inside someone else’s body was a good idea. High functioning people can live under the spell of an inexplicable mental lapse when they think as a group. Why isn’t anybody else doing it? Because they don’t think guys who look like you are what win baseball games. They know it for sure.

BILLY (pause)

Alright, let’s find our team.

{场间衔接}

还有个编剧常用技巧，用来连接两场戏。在scott家聘请他时，看到他女儿，于是两人对话顺利带出billy有女儿的事实。下一场里，Billy去探望女儿就会显得自然，否则观众可能一时反应不过来，毕竟他在电影目前为止的形象是单身：

HATTEBERG’s YOUNG DAUGHTER comes down the staircase in her pajamas, having just woken up in the middle of the night.

BILLY

HATTEBERG’S DAUGHTER SCOTT

Hello.

Hi.

That’s our youngest daughter.

Great.

BILLY

SCOTT Do you have kids?

BILLY doesn’t like to share personal lives with the players but he covers well--

BILLY --yeah, I have a daughter.

BILLY takes a contract out of his windbreaker and sets it on the table next to the cookies.

{让对话更生动}

依然是编剧的普遍原则，角色不要像正常人那样乏味地说话，对方问选择疑问句，就不能真的二选一来回答，因为那是附和人地预期的答案，是无聊的。

BILLY

Would you rather get one bullet in the head or five in the chest and bleed to death?

PETER

Those are my only choices?

{不知如何分类的小姑娘的唱歌}

片结脚本里本没有那首把观众们收服得服服帖帖的小女孩的歌儿，没有了这首歌的Moneyball会黯淡多少哪。表达“茫然若失”的心情时，烂大街的拍法便是主角走到往昔的那些地点，独自徘徊～～～艾伦索金虽然是大神，写到这儿也没能免俗，幸好导演机智，换成了Billy驾车行驶，听到女儿给他录的CD里反复唱“You’re such a loser dad.”

一下就神效果了。不过，这种画龙点睛能分析，却是学不来的，估计对导演而言也是个惊喜。

{声画写作}

情绪转化成声画，才适合电影语言，比用形容词苍白地强调情绪更有力。比如开篇精准简洁地通过场景交代主人公的处境——资金不足，萧条：

Static shots: A deserted locker room. Empty showers. Cinder-block tunnels lit with wire-encased lamps like in a coal mine. THREE SECURITY GUARDS watch a game on a TV.

再比如用场景来表现失去Giambi对billy的沉重程度，还有比把Giambi的巨幅画像从体育馆撤去扔地上更直观残忍的表达吗：

EXT. OAKLAND COLISEUM - MORNING

MONTAGE: Peter pulls into the parking lot for his first day of work, takes in the sight of the colossal, concrete relic that is the Oakland Coliseum. He’s just in time to see a paint roller on a long pole laying a white stripe down the middle of Jason Giambi’s giant portrait.

话又说回来，如果文字直接就能把全部东西表达出来，也就不用费神拍电影了。 文字精准表达情境，导言来转化成音画时，还要加入导演才能做到的东西。比如以下这句：

He seems at peace as he looks down on the empty diamond - a peace only slightly belied, perhaps, by the baseball he absently turns in a hand. 

Billy表面假装镇定，内心无法接受失败的孤独感，在剧本中用文字表现出来后，导演用冷色调中、浅景深、人物身处暗处的手法传达给观众。

{别让角色笔挺站着坐着说话}

还有个剧本里没有，是排成电影的过程中添加的细节：吃。编剧大人太喜欢对话了，让角色们坐着站着讲个不停，拍出来效果太僵硬，所以布拉德皮特只好一只吃啊吃啊吃……：

最后，从编剧的角度很简略地总结下构思流程（我已经没耐心了写到这里）：

老板出钱要我写个关于数据棒球革命的故事->一个关于科学方法论的东西没有观众会看，观众要看的是诸如布拉德皮特的东西，所以这个故事是要关于运用科学方法论的一个英雄式人物，而不是方法本身->要突出人物，就要用强大的敌人来承托-> 添油加醋地把Billy遇到的困难升级一下，比如身边的人，从Scout到妻子到经理，一个个都要置疑他，媒体要置疑他，棒球界要讨厌他->他不顾一切置疑，坚持数据棒球的方针->能做到不顾置疑的人，必定是个no－bullshit、只看问题核心、不受凡人苦恼困扰的硬汉。铛铛——一个英雄角色塑造完成！

最后借这张美图来吐那种会说“《地心引力》不科学烂片”的人的槽。你们看着这一幕俩男人都撑着红色的伞，是不是觉得太基太不真实？但这里用红色，画面好看啊！“真实”和“表现力”之间取得平衡，虚构作品才会好看哦？如果您那么热爱真实，就别费神看啥子电影了，过您的真实而乏味的日子去吧。